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If i can, I wish this page of blog that i'm writting now,i would like to write it in Mandarin.This 2 days especially today .. It had been one of the hardest day for me to go through by far..I thought everything happen for a reason. I try to rationalize it.All this while ive been to idealistic.Everyone around tell me,when you do good,ppl will do good back to you..But how true is dat in the real world?Especially in biz world.Sometime i would have thought that am i suitable to be in biz given that im naive and idealistic.This question had been running through my mind the whole day today..In my mind,do my best dont care about whut ppl say or backstabbed..But is it when you do good,people will appreciate?and never backstabbed you?and never do something to pull you down?Im realistic in a way,everyone is good.. I still think it is though .. but agenda happens different times proven otherwise.. In jus 1 days, I came to discover alot of things that ive never thought i will be going through ..people say thing that can make u die,only will make you stronger.. I know im strong enough to go through this .. And i will succeed ..

Being too emotional wouldnt be good.. Being too realistic woouldnt be good either.. Im struggling to go through this i must admit. Reason being? Ive no idea..Sometimes i would wish that im would be more clever,be able not to feel bad and sad.. But what im sad is,why human being can be so selfish? Why it is not about teamwork?Why isnt it about helping and supporting each other but rather I'll make sure you die such that i can conquer everything?I envy you do good,therefore i must pull you down and create some problem to you .. SURVIVAL MODE .. I always remind myself that human being are born good..There will be one day that i will see a community that talks about peace,supporting ... But other than whut i see now.. its otherwise.. How long more that i can keep the believe that everyone is good when everything that happen its against whut i believe? i donno .. Mayb some ppl will say that im stupid to have a thought like dat .. its does sounds stupid but i do believe.. If the world is like this, it will be a better place to live in .. no more wars,no global warming ... Mayb this is idealistic..

I admit today everything seems to fall on today .. in every aspect of my life.. Change it to another perspective,its a good thing as if it not whut happen to day .. it will not make me realize and grow ..Every incidence is a chance to learn.. Deep in my heart,im really really hurt and my eyes is watery when i wrote this blog .. It was not planned.. I jus write whutever i feel like writing.. Had a jog in the evening .. was so commited to making it happen no matter what and yes i did jog .. Its the only time for me today to really relax and try to find peace with myself.. Im feeling very very 'san fu' ..And i let this feeling in .. It hurts .. I got to let it in to be able to let it go ...Keep telling myself I'm gonna be okay ..and I will ...

I questioned myself .. is it normal to go through this?or is it jus im stupid enough not to cope on this?How do i go through this,o in another way,how do i handle this?Trust? What is trust?Support?In the real world especially in biz,is there any?Backstabbing?An activity that everyone is interested in?Betray?I think it came in a package wit trust..I feel like im being blindfolded.. I donno whats that anymore .. Question is .. is it im the one who has change? or is this the time i came to see the real realistic world?

What i want is always simple .. I guess it has never change ever since..I hope this world is a place where there is no hatred,betrayal,selfishness and everyone living the moment purely without ever need to calculate will other ppl harming in any way ..

As far as it seems,from idealistic going through realistic is not a smooth process.I got to stay strong.By the end of it,the only thing that i want is when I'm in this realistic world,i dont get drift and blindfolded by it ... I'm still the same old Jynnie Tan that everyone used to know ..

Are you an Attention Seeker .. ?

This particular signboard caught my eyes .. and i was like ' I want to take a photo of it ' ... I thought it was a great advertising idea .. and its very eye catching .. Mayb im an attention seeker therefore it jus caught my eyes .. haha! Creative idea to make ppl take a look at it ..

Speaking of attention seeker .. From my point of view,everyone is an attention seeker though .. Its jus the level attention seekerness level is high or low .. I think it certainly OK to be attention seekers sometimes .. But dont have it overboard cause it might disgust other ppl .. Look at the situation and act accordingly .. You know whut i mean? haha!Too much of it would be irritating though ..

Klang + Skybridge ..

There are reasons why i put this 2 place together .. Hmmmm ... =)

Last weekend ... as promised and as planned ... at last ive determine to go down to Klang once to visit Keng yee ( as he has been bugging me to visit him and his house for so so long time edi ) .. and my bad .. that my laziness is the worst disease of all .. haha! And that weekend itself ive plan to visit BoON Siong and his newborn cutesy baby ... With Matt and Jun along .. it was fun all the way .......

Bak Kut Teh - Keng yEE house - Boon Siong's house and we ended our day with our beloved steamboat ... and we had our deep deep chat there and we sat almost 3 hours there chatting ..

Well, what motivates me to write this post was ..... later you'll know la .. hehe!

Monday night, i received Matt's invitation to go up the Skybridge of the Twin Tower .. I was so flattered and i ask whther o not it is possible to bring my mum up .. and he said YES!! i was so happy .. My MUM longing to go up to the Sky bridge for so long and her dream will come true ...

Thanks to Matt that we are able to go up the Skybridge .. and my mum was so happy ... (big smile) ...

These are few pics that we took when we were in Skybridge ..

Didnt get a change to go out from KLCC to catch a photo of the twin tower .. But i guess the picture below do resemblance the Twin tower though.. With the Skybridge in between .... hahah! Gotcha Matt!! Dont be Mad yah !! wow it rhymes ....

I personally love this pic alot .... Love and hugs to both of you ...

1 year Anniversary ....

26/3/2010 ...

Its our 1 year being together .. Funny thing is it doesnt seems like 1 year already .. Recall back how we started and the situation .. I can smile sweetly from my heart .. Its feels real good being with him .. A guy that i can be who i am when im wid him and accept me for who i am .. What more can i ask for ...

It was friday and we didnt have much time to celebrate as its a working day and this year we kept it simple .. Cause its our golden time to earn money .. so therefore if we wanted to celebrate it lavishly it would be a few years later .. =) Met him up and he brought me to dinner .. In the car, I told him .. " Wah .. tak sangka we 1 year edi lo .. " and he replied .. " Yeah lo .. One whole year of arguing and dramas everyday ... " and we survivedddd .. hahhaha! I laugh at his reply ..

Looking back this 1 year .. its been a pretty rollercoaster year .. Mayb its because its the beginning for us to really know each other therefore we cant be escaping the arguing and the drama part .. I can proudly say its getting better day by day.. At least he still survived rite ? (Now u know who cause all the dramas when i said that ) haha!

About him, he's been a guy that ive always wanted to be wid .. I remembered small times, I will always wish for a guy who love me for who i am .. Its not about wealthy o not, background o any other things .. but sincere love and a guy who can go up and down go throught waves togehter with me .. This 1 year .. without fail , he's been real good to me .. being patient when im impatient and short fuse (which is always ) .. be there to encourage me and lift me up again when i breakdown .. Treating my parents and family well like his own .. Like i said what more can i ask for ... 'You love a person when you see their imperfection as perfection'.. Of coz such a great guy like him do have flaw .. who dont have ? Well , i can proudly say he's perfect to me ...

For this 1 year, i enjoyed your company and i do feel love surrounded me and being loved .. Love you ~~ Let's build this up together ...

Missing thumbdrive ..... plz come back ..

Today its been the worst day in my life .. I had lost my thumbdrive .. I didnt kno how did it happen .. This morning brought it to office to print something out to let me dad see .. didnt work out so i unplug it from the server and put it back in my pocket ..

The next second that i realize when i back home and wanted to print it out at home,it went missing .. Search it all in my car .. didnt see it anywhere .. Trying to recall where it would be and where have i been .. I jus been to 2 place .. my office and bank .. ridiculous .. Shit really happens .. Called up office and went back search .. DONT HAVE ..

Came back home .. i started crying loudly ... I lost my thumbdrive wid all my hardwork for months inside .. I feel really really bad .. Without thinking much i ask bro to drive me to Maybank .. Searched on the road,asked the counter they didnt see it .. Search again my car .. It nowhere to be seen ..

Now i would jus pray that it pop up in my office .. waiting for me to collect it back ... Please come back ...

Dream Wedding ..

I always had a very very good imagination about weddings .. Everytime when i attend weddings, i feel very very happy and i actually feels that the 2 ppl who is going down the aisle is now being together till old, happy ever after and live a very blissful life ..

These few years, Ive been attending quite a few wedding dinner .. some at Restaurant and should i say mostly at restaurant and some at hotels .. However despite celebrating the newly weds,i feel nowadays wedding is to commercialized .. Basically every steps and itinerary is the same .. Such as ...

Welcoming the guest ..
Newly weds come in throught the door ..
Sits down and food performance by the restaurant ..
Until have way , newly wed is being invited up to the stage to cut cake and pour champagne ..
and both parents go up and yam seng ..
After all that is done,mayb the newly wed is asked to hug o kiss ..
Newlywed will now go table to table for yam seng ..
And thats the end after every food is served and newly wed will b standing at the door to usher guests out ..

Yesterday i attended a wedding in Muar and its the same as above.. And that time my mind wanders abit far .. i start to think about how i would like my wedding be like ...

I know i wan it to be special .. different from all the commercialized wedding .. Last time,i always dream of garden wedding for night.. Fills wid lights everywhere and fireworks to end the night .. it will be really romantic .. For morning, i would like it be like a very traditional Chinese wedding whereby bride will be wearing 'kei po' and groom will be wearing chinese custome wid a big flower tie in front .. And our home will be lighten up wid big red candles like those Chinese traditional wedding in TV ..

Most importantly is actually the meaning of 2 ppl being together .. wedding is jus a process and of coz i always love to be one of those that old man & aunt still holding hand walking at the street eventhough they are 70 - 80 years old .. I feel that it is so sweet .. And i hope during my old days,im like that ...

Genting getaway wid 2 important Man in my life ...

hehe! Here I am again ..

This week has been real cool to me .. Went up to GeNTING to watch SaMMI'S concert .. I had a great daddy driving me up to the hills and watch it while he will be enjoying his time at the casino or having a cup of hot latte,chilling in the cool weather .. Manage to went in casino before the show and had a few rounds of cards .. Well,luck not tat good today though .. haha! tHe casino was rather pack wid aunties an uncles!! What surprises me is how ppl place their bet .. At a point of time i saw this guy .. putting chips like 5 chip of rm500 and on top of that 5-6 chipz of rm100 .. jus for a round of Baccarat .. woooSHH .. I was like eyes oso open damn wide .. eventhough my eyes was really small .. doesnt make any diff .. Lucky enuf for him that he won that round .. Well,this time around i got to kno that in casino u got a few privilege .. first,there are places who is open for UMUM .. and yet daddy said have u gone in seen the International Room?Free drinks is served .. and its ginseng tea .. I was like it is meant to cool you down if u lose the money?or is it a pscycho for u to have the ginseng such that u r braver to bet more money?ha!

Went to Sammi's concert after have free dinner buffet at Terrace Coffee .. Kenneth went there wid me .. We were seated i would say near to the stage .. It was jus 10+ rows away from the stage ..Near in the sense that we are able to see Sammi's real person .. The concert was awesome .. Sammi pull it off wif a range of 'Lady Gaga's fashion sense of clothes .. There are rock songs and also love songs .. But wat pissed me off a while was the ppl who stand up and jus block the view for ppl who are sitting behind them .. Which i m one of them .. For those ppl , i would call them abunch of 'ATTENTION SEEKERS' that they thought by stading up in some way Sammi would have seen them .. and nevertheless to say selfish enuf that they only think about themselve wanted to see and not the ppl sitting behind of them .. Atone point of time,i always crumbled up some paper and feeling like throwing it to them .. Well,human nature mayb?If only this world fills wid compassion and care for each other and having a big huge heart .. Sammi to my experience is a real straight forward , auntentic and funny performer . Thumbs Up to her!!

The concert ended quite early though as she had another more round on Saturday .. Went back up to casino to find my daddy .. He was there and gave me a sum of money to play .. I was looking at the chip and ask my dad,if i didnt use it to gamble,can i jus take this money to save in bank?He looked at me at smile ,and of coz im jus joking .. taking dads money to save in bank , ma as well i earn my own money and save it .. Not going to be so dependent on him anymroe like last time .. More so im grown up edi and time passess im 25 this year .. OH NO !!! ... Went for rounds of card again .. Luck was really not that good this time around .. as last time always went i went up i ended up helping my dad to win money.. hehe! but lucky enuf that from losing few hundreds i end up losing rm50..

Well i always have this thinking about gambling .. To me , gambling was never really good afterall .. It was okay if u kno ur own limits and play for relaxing .. But its a definitely NO NO for those who gamble for their future .. Using all the money,gamble house and eventually lost everything ? I sometime went into casino and i observed alots of things ..

After the casino tour,we had our quick drink at the Coffee Bean and came down after that .. Cool and chilling night .. Sammi, i love you and ur songs! U r awesome .. ..
=)