beautiful chat ..

Had a talk with Kenneth jus now in the car for almost 20 min (approx) .. We had chats about our relationship , where is it heading to,our breakdowns, miscommunications and our beloved DRAMA'S .. Funnily enough that we can discuss it openly and laughing all the way in having both of us laughing at ourself on how silly we can be..

There come a point of time i told him ... I miss you being so romantic and putting down the ego to pujuk me .. where is that you? no more geh .. and he laugh .. and said that he is kayu and apparently when he did all those funny lil romantic thingy that i actually didnt give any reaction thats why he sien liao .. dont wanna do already .. (oh damn!!)

We both talk about our arguements .. Last time use to be 7days a week and now it has been improved .. average 1 arguement per week .. why the breakdown? both point finger at each other lo .. and he say 'you think i donno you ah .. i kno you well enough to kno how you will react everytime ..

I guess i really love this conversation .. being open and laugh at ourself and correct all the mistake and breakdown along the way to create better relationship in the future .. no arguement,no deep understanding about each other ..

i'm blessed to have a bf that love me for who am i .. care for me enough to know me so well in person, to accept my goods and bads , mood swings, tsunami swings, whatever swings that i have .. what more can i ask for? oh ya .. romantic bf ... that he say he stopped being because i got no reaction when he is being romantic .. mayb i should have some reaction then?mayb? hm.. will think about it ..

今天的星期六 。。

最近忙的也是工作。。承受的压力。。是必经的。。 爸爸说我太急。。自己给自己很多的不必的压力。。可能是吧。。真的要学习放松一下。。忙了两个星期的工作终于今天完成了。坐着对着电脑已经八个小时了。。完成了觉得有些满足感。。在做着工作的时候一直在听歌。。某一些歌让我想起了很多经历过的事情。。甜的，酸的，苦的。。都有 。。。

这两个多月，忙的是工作和fun quiz。。fun quiz 已经圆满结束了。。准备了两个多月到了当天，终于觉得是值得的。。当天我很享受整个fun quiz。。看到了最大胆的装扮，整个房间充满欢笑声。。一个很不同的体验。。

在整两个月期间，我领悟和学到了很多的东西。。尤其是人性，团体精神，领悟到，之前我不明白的事 。。 有好的，也有不好的。。

人，总是计算不到的。。爸爸说我太天真了。。之前我会发脾气当他这么说我。。但现在，当经过了，我承认我还是很天真。。想的每件事情会很好的，每个人都是很好的。。很圆满的。。但现实是那样的吗？现实是残酷的。。不想去接受但必须的。。我所领悟到的，好的， 我会继续的学习。。 不好的，我会提醒我自己不会对别人那样。。

让我最心痛的是，我以为懂我是怎样的人的朋友都觉得我做不好了，偏私了。。此刻的心情是难以形容的。。但都是过过去了。。写下了，就放下了。。但我总觉得你是懂我的。。我相信。。

现在很多不同了。。很多事情，关系都变了。。时间能回到过去吗？朋友。。有特别几个我是不想失去的。。希望友谊不变。。

Engelbert Humperdick ...

Jus came back from Engelbert Humperdick concert in Genting .. First when i saw this guy and his name i was like .. ennn..gell...what?whos this guys?My mum spontaneously jus speaks his name out.. I turn and look at my mum.. wow .. u actually kno this guy .. Now that i kno he is the one who make this 'Release Me' song a hit song of all times ..

I was quite impressed by his vocal .. At the age of nearly 70 perhaps?he still can sing non stop for 2 hours and his vocal is remarkable .. A song that seems not familiar but i be really impress with his vocal.. Its amazing .. (Personal opinion : watching guai lo concert is totally different feel than those chinese ones .. ) ..

Nevertheless,somehow rather his performance tonight had me go thinking dat the older guai lo the more ham sap they are though.. fills with his porn jokes,kissing audience (and i mean mouth to mouth more than once .. ) .. and bla bla bla .. Well mayb Malaysian ere including me is not really that open minded yet though .. different perspective different view .. But i have a personal experience of getting to know a older guai lo that kinda same 'fashion' like him too .. haha! (some of you might kno who am i referring to ) That is why i have this belief that the older they are the more 'h*rny' they are .. haha!

Well jus besides dat .. its quite an entertaining concert for me .. and the vocal is absolutely amazing .. Thumbs up!!

cYcLE of blaming ..

Jus feel like bloggin it out .. Near my office's traffic light has been real disaster.. Not long ago.. both sides traffic lights is not functioning at all .. Called JKR .. Nothing is done .. Well .. First attempt ..

Recently the traffic light went off again .. for both side .. total of 6 traffic light is not working at all .. Foresee accident o fight will occur if nothing is done to fixed the damn traffic light.. Early in the morning called JKR .. Nice voice and greetings .. 'Hi! I would like to inform you about traffic light that is not functioning' .. and she answer .. 'Oh, i think that is JKR Electric side .. I give you the number .. 03-9285***.. Well, okay ..

Straight dialled the number.. told them the same thing .. 'Oh,traffic light that area is under DBKL'.. Ok cool~ Keep my temper and called DBKL eventually asking the same thing when the operator answered the call .. Guess what .. The answer that i get was 'Oh, is it the traffic light under the bridge which is alo lead to MRR2? oh .. she knows it and knows the place .. Well,a slight chance that they are the one who fix it .. And the following phrase that she tell me was .. 'Oh,that one you should call MPAJ .. They are the one who fixed it'..

Well,ive called JKR and DBKL.. so both of them denying it tht they are the one who is accountable on it .. so now jus left MPAJ .. who can they blame on summore .. so since dat ive called 2 useless body .. ma as well go for the last one also .. Called up MPAJ .. telling the same phrase .. and their answer was ' Oh you should call JKR .. they are the one who in charge of it .. Damn!! this is how the government body works? passing blame to each other?its really a cycle .. u blame me,i blame u,then i blame you back ..

I told the operator 'YOU LISTEN HERE.. IVE CALLED JKR,DBKL AND NOW YOU .. Before i could even finish my phrase .. she added ' Oh no .. i call you to call JKR not DBKL .. and loudly i say u listen ere i said I CALLED JKR AND THEY TELL ME IS DBKL, AND WHEN I CALLED DBKL THEY SAY ITS YOU,AND WHEN I CALL YOU , YOU SAY IS JKR, HOW NOW?!! .. then she say wid a impatient voice .. oh sorry .. i will call JKR now .. ya rite !!!

Eventually when i go back passing the traffic light after work,nothing is done at all from morning till the evening .. A little things like this also cant be able to handle,wanna improve the whole country ? Are you serious?

我生日的惊喜。。

不知不觉我生日过了一个星期，也不知不觉我已经25岁了。。时间真的过的很快。。还记得那时我20岁的时候觉得那么的年轻。。有一天妈妈提醒我已经25岁了才发现原来我不像当年那么的年轻了。过去的生日我会很期待的去庆祝。。可是今年我很想很简单的庆祝我的生日。。可能人老了吧。。。 哈哈。。

星期天我一家人 跟我阿姨一起去buffet 。。爸爸妈妈两人送了一个MacBook Pro 给我。。一个我很想拥有的礼物。。最想不到的是我弟弟送给我的礼物。。让我很感动。。虽然他可不是很名贵的礼物但是当我收到的时候，我却很感动。。谢谢你给我一个很有意思的礼物。。

弟弟送给我的礼物。。

我的生日是在星期一。。平常星期一我都很忙。。 那天也不例外。。 忙了一整天。。要赶去Asiawork，有个meeting .. 但是我不知道的是我一班朋友做了一个惊喜给我。。我真的没想到。。 真的觉得很惊喜。。谢谢你们给我这个难忘的惊喜。。 谢谢你们的用心良苦。。可惜的是我男朋友不能出席这个惊喜。。

今年的生日我特别开心。。虽然简单，但是形象横深刻。。拥有一个温暖的家，一个很体谅我的男朋友，一班很好的朋友。。我觉得很幸福喔 。。。

人总要信 ..

After 1 week of ups and down .. Its really great to be with great frens having nice outing,karaokeing(screaming the lungs out), watching movie in the cinema (and cry like nobody's business) .. back at home now,tired but feel like blogging a few words ..

I was introduced a song by a great fren of mine while on the way back home.. He told me its was a really great song .. The minute she sang ... IT IS .. No doubt im always attracted to songs which has meaningful lyric .. And this song is really as he say suitable for i know who .. The lyrics inside really speaks about them .. And i really do wish that one day I would b able to present this song to them .. I know time wont wait and summore after watching 'Echoes of the rainbow' .... 'Human greatest enemy is time ... '... And i kno how impactful this song is to them ... And i would really love to see what the process and how the outcome will be .. And im sure it is something that i really would be longing to see it happen ...... '人总要信' ...

........

If i can, I wish this page of blog that i'm writting now,i would like to write it in Mandarin.This 2 days especially today .. It had been one of the hardest day for me to go through by far..I thought everything happen for a reason. I try to rationalize it.All this while ive been to idealistic.Everyone around tell me,when you do good,ppl will do good back to you..But how true is dat in the real world?Especially in biz world.Sometime i would have thought that am i suitable to be in biz given that im naive and idealistic.This question had been running through my mind the whole day today..In my mind,do my best dont care about whut ppl say or backstabbed..But is it when you do good,people will appreciate?and never backstabbed you?and never do something to pull you down?Im realistic in a way,everyone is good.. I still think it is though .. but agenda happens different times proven otherwise.. In jus 1 days, I came to discover alot of things that ive never thought i will be going through ..people say thing that can make u die,only will make you stronger.. I know im strong enough to go through this .. And i will succeed ..

Being too emotional wouldnt be good.. Being too realistic woouldnt be good either.. Im struggling to go through this i must admit. Reason being? Ive no idea..Sometimes i would wish that im would be more clever,be able not to feel bad and sad.. But what im sad is,why human being can be so selfish? Why it is not about teamwork?Why isnt it about helping and supporting each other but rather I'll make sure you die such that i can conquer everything?I envy you do good,therefore i must pull you down and create some problem to you .. SURVIVAL MODE .. I always remind myself that human being are born good..There will be one day that i will see a community that talks about peace,supporting ... But other than whut i see now.. its otherwise.. How long more that i can keep the believe that everyone is good when everything that happen its against whut i believe? i donno .. Mayb some ppl will say that im stupid to have a thought like dat .. its does sounds stupid but i do believe.. If the world is like this, it will be a better place to live in .. no more wars,no global warming ... Mayb this is idealistic..

I admit today everything seems to fall on today .. in every aspect of my life.. Change it to another perspective,its a good thing as if it not whut happen to day .. it will not make me realize and grow ..Every incidence is a chance to learn.. Deep in my heart,im really really hurt and my eyes is watery when i wrote this blog .. It was not planned.. I jus write whutever i feel like writing.. Had a jog in the evening .. was so commited to making it happen no matter what and yes i did jog .. Its the only time for me today to really relax and try to find peace with myself.. Im feeling very very 'san fu' ..And i let this feeling in .. It hurts .. I got to let it in to be able to let it go ...Keep telling myself I'm gonna be okay ..and I will ...

I questioned myself .. is it normal to go through this?or is it jus im stupid enough not to cope on this?How do i go through this,o in another way,how do i handle this?Trust? What is trust?Support?In the real world especially in biz,is there any?Backstabbing?An activity that everyone is interested in?Betray?I think it came in a package wit trust..I feel like im being blindfolded.. I donno whats that anymore .. Question is .. is it im the one who has change? or is this the time i came to see the real realistic world?

What i want is always simple .. I guess it has never change ever since..I hope this world is a place where there is no hatred,betrayal,selfishness and everyone living the moment purely without ever need to calculate will other ppl harming in any way ..

As far as it seems,from idealistic going through realistic is not a smooth process.I got to stay strong.By the end of it,the only thing that i want is when I'm in this realistic world,i dont get drift and blindfolded by it ... I'm still the same old Jynnie Tan that everyone used to know ..